What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
