i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize