repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
