I'm drive I can fine osifer
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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