Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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