my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize