so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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