lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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