yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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