somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
