That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
