he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
