well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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