Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Randomize