Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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