Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
