you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
