Me. At least after what I've been through.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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