so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just threw up on my dentist
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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