he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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