they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
babies were throwing up all over the place
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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