just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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