We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
