I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
