There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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