I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Randomize
