yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
