I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
