Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
