shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
