if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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