yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
