I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just want to make out with him forever
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
