i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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