Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
