You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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