Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
