i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
