shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
