this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize