i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
babies were throwing up all over the place
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
