I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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