Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Randomize
