so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
