Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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