Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
