look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
