The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
