This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
