ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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