Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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