This is the prime rib incident all over again
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
