Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
