If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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