There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
