Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am puke
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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