that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Will exercising make me less horny?
You left your phone here
Wait...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize