he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize