So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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