Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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