whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
