I will die if light touches me.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
