Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
