This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
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