no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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