i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
