Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
