Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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