You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
