dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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