Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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