cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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