I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
