i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
