Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
